


and wouldn't you love to love her?

by WattStalf



Series: Pokemon OCs [13]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Blackmail, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Manipulation, Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:28:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27045742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: It starts out so simple that Zapp almost thinks that it’s just a joke, but Raihan isn't joking, and he isn't waiting for her anymore. If he has to take matters into his own hands, then so be it.
Relationships: Kibana | Raihan/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Pokemon OCs [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810798
Kudos: 10





	and wouldn't you love to love her?

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea back in December when I first made this OC, the same one from the Piers fics, but this is essentially an AU where Piers is not the childhood friend interested in her, but rather Raihan. She still has her crush on Leon, but...  
> There was a lot of dark Raihan content going around at the time, which is partially what inspired the idea, as well as a joking comment made in conversation that really escalated.  
> This is just angst and nothing else, and not reflective of my actual feelings where Raihan is concerned lmao

It starts out so simple that Zapp almost thinks that it’s just a joke. She has known Raihan for years, long enough that she would consider him one of her oldest friends, and she sees quite a bit of him even now that they are both busy as gym leaders. It is easy to think that he is just messing with her, the first time he uses her trust against her, but once things have escalated beyond a point that she can handle, she is already in too deep with him.

The two of them are old friends, and she tries to keep her crush on his rival a secret from him. After all, she doubts he wants to hear her talking about how great she thinks Leon is, considering how much time he already has to spend thinking about the guy, planning strategies to work against him, to at least give a good show in exhibition matches, but maybe even to overpower him and make history.

She also feels like he might make fun of her for it. Sometimes she feels like making fun of herself for it, for liking someone like Leon, who barely knows that she exists outside of her role as a gym leader, and who could definitely do better than her, and probably does, all the time. She has no experience with relationships, and knows better than to try and make a move on Leon, when she would probably just end up making a fool of herself.

The only person that knows about any of it is Piers, and they have always been able to vent to one another about any and everything. Moping together is their specialty, but things are different with Raihan, so she has a lot of reasons to try and keep it to herself. Until he finally figures it out, and then she can’t bring herself to lie to him, and probably wouldn’t be able to, even if she tried.

“Seriously, Leon?” he asks, in a teasing voice. Just like she thought, he is going to make fun of her for it, so she braces herself, ready to get heckled for quite a while. She will be lucky if he ever lets her live it down. “What are you doing chasing after a guy like that?”

“I’m not chasing after him! I know I don’t have a chance, I just…kind of like him,” she tries, wanting to make sure that he at least knows that she knows where she stands on the matter. Raihan just laughs again, and she hangs her head, not sure what else she can do to get herself out of this situation. She really wishes that she could find some way to turn back time and also prevent him from guessing it and asking her about it.

“Well, it’s just, I think you could probably do better. Don’t you think you could?” he asks, and she is surprised that he is not mocking her about Leon being out of her league.

“I don’t know about that,” she starts, but realizes that she is getting dangerously close to gushing about Leon, and how she thinks he’s too good for her, and that’s not really where she wants this conversation to go. “I wouldn’t even know where to start, for one thing.”

“What, you don’t think you’d have a chance with me?” he teases, and this time, she is the one laughing. It is so like Raihan to make a joke like that; he is a pretty big flirt, not holding anything back when it comes to matters of romance- or maybe it’s just matters of sex, now that she thinks about it. But if he is trying to diffuse the awkwardness of guessing her secret crush, it does not surprise her that he does it by making a joke about how much more desirable he is, especially since her crush is one of his biggest rivals.

“Are you saying  _ you’re _ in my league?” she asks with a snicker, and he shakes his head.

“I was more saying that you’re all the way up in  _ my _ league,” he replies. “So, what are you doing chasing after Leon when you could have me?”

At first, she just thinks that it’s a joke. Even when he starts to make it more clear to her that he is actually offering to sleep with her, she thinks that this is some weird way of making her feel better, since she said that she did not think she was good enough for Leon. Like maybe he thought she would feel better if she got laid, like that’s just something that any good friend would do.

But she has no way of knowing if he is being serious, and definitely has no idea what would happen if she actually went through with something like that, so she still tries to brush it off as a joke, hoping to get out of this quickly. She just wants to walk away, and pretend that none of this ever happened, so that she and Raihan can go back to normal the next time that they see each other. Which is what makes it particularly weird when he says, “You know I’m being serious, right? I want to do this, with you. To show you what you really deserve, because I think that’d be good for you. But if you want to stay focused on Leon, I guess I can’t stop you…”

“It’s not because of him or anything!” she tries to argue. “It’s because you’re  _ you _ , you’re my friend, and I don’t…I mean, I just don’t know if I’m ready for something like  _ that _ , with anyone.”

“Right, I’m sure that’s all it is. Nothing to do with Leon, right?” he asks, not sounding at all like he believes her. “But even so, this’ll leave you free to keep going after him. I can let him know you’re interested, so at least you don’t have to keep admiring from afar. Who knows, he might even go for it!”

“Yeah right,” she says, trying to force a laugh, but suddenly, she does not feel like he is joking anymore. “You’re  _ so _ funny.”

“I don’t know why you think I’m joking.” The smirk on his face does not reach his eyes. “If you’re going to walk away now, that’s as good as admitting you’re still hung up on him. And if you like him so much and you’re too afraid to tell him, I can tell him for you. You’re one of my best friends, and I know him better than you. I’m doing you a favor, right, Zapp?”

This is a side of Raihan that she has never seen before, and she has no idea what to make of it. No idea how to process any of this, and no idea what she is supposed to do. On the one hand, it probably makes the most sense to just walk out of here and call his bluff. Surely it would be better to let him follow through with his threat than to give into demands for something that she is not ready for. And yet, she can’t bring herself to do it. There is a part of her that thinks he might not actually go through with it, that this still might be a joke, but then…

“Fine,” she mutters, the word feeling like it comes out on its own. She agrees, just like that, because she does not know what else to do, and she does not know how to handle her longtime friend acting like this. Even knowing that there has to be an alternative, that even letting him go through with his threat should be a better idea, she agrees, and she follows along with him.

~X~

He never meant to actually use that threat against her. Raihan figured out her feelings a while before he actually confronted her about them, not sure what to do with his discovery. There was definitely a big part of him that hoped she might laugh it off when he accused her, that he might be wrong about it, but, of course, he’s right, and Leon is the one that she wants.

The two of them have known each other for years, and he should have made a move before now. He knows that he should have made a move before now, but they were always just friends, and no matter how many people he hooked up with, she remained out of his reach- his own fault, for reasons he barely understood. Everything is his own fault, for letting it get to this point, and yet his frustration remains entirely directed at her, and that is when he starts to consider the ultimatum.

He never intends on actually presenting her with it. It seems absolutely ridiculous, making her sleep with him in exchange for keeping her secret. Surely she would choose to walk away and confess on her own if he did something like that, and then he would lose her for sure. A better option would be trying to win her over honestly, which is what he should have done years ago.

When she admits to what he suspects, however, it is like a switch is flipped in him, and he is giving her the ultimatum, he is casually threatening her, and goading her into it. At any second, he expects her to get angry with him, to tell him to fuck off and disappear from his life entirely, to take matters into her own hands to show him that she has nothing to be afraid of, that his threats mean nothing to her. Instead, he sees panic and confusion in her eyes; he sees her start to break down, and the next thing he knows, she is beneath him, blinking back tears as she says it hurts, says that she needs him to slow down.

It’s her first time, so of course it hurts. The poor virgin has never done anything like this- “Saving yourself for someone?” he finds himself asking in a mocking tone- and she can hardly take it. She is one of his best friends, and he should go easy on her. He just keeps fucking her harder, fucking her until she is over the pain and until she likes it, until he has her moaning for him, and only him.

He has already taken things way too far, but once all is said and done, he already knows that this is just the beginning.

~X~

The first time, he just uses her secret to get him to do what he wants, and Zapp hopes, rather foolishly, that that will be the end of it all. She did what he wanted, so he should be done with her. There is a part of her that wants to believe that he is still the friend she already knew, that they can go back to normal after that, and that he will never do anything like that again.

Instead, he asks her to come over and meet up with him in a text. When she says that she’s busy, he replies,  _ Until when? I can wait _ , and as she struggles to think of another excuse, she gets the message that she is now dreading.  _ I can just tell him about what we did instead. How does that sound? _

Whatever happened between them, it has permanently changed things, and whatever happened between them, she realizes that she is not going to be able to escape it easily. She is trapped, and has been from the moment he first caught her, maybe longer than that. It is hard to know exactly when this began, because he has so quickly changed into a man that does not even remotely resemble the Raihan that she knows. Helpless and confused, Zapp replies with a time that she can come over, her fate already sealed.

_ See you then _ , is all he says in response. She spends the rest of the day dreading plans with a friend she used to always be happy to get to see.

When she gets there, he seems more like the Raihan she knows, and she nearly lets herself get lulled into a false sense of security by this, but she remembers the look on his face when he held her down and fucked her through her screams, and she knows better. There is more to him than she has ever known, but now that she knows that, she can’t easily forget it.

“Glad you weren’t too busy to make time for me,” he says, in a teasing tone of voice, like he would have any other time. “You probably know what I wanted to meet up for.”

“More of last time?” she tries, hoping that he will say no, already knowing that that is exactly it.

“We had fun, didn’t we? It seemed like you did at the end there,” he teases her. She has no idea what to say about that, and no idea what came over her, the moment it started to feel good, the moment she gave into the pleasure she did not want, the moment she came for him. She should have known that he would use that as an excuse, as an example that she did not mind it nearly as much as she might claim.

“I’d never done anything like that before,” she replies, which does not really answer his question one way or another.

“I can’t believe you threw away your first time on me. You must like me more than you let on.” Still, he speaks as if he is only teasing her, like an old friend would. It would be so easy to trust him, if not for what happened last time, still burned into her mind.

“I…well, I just…” Now what is she supposed to say? She has no idea if she is supposed to go along with what he says or tease him back, denouncing his claim entirely. She  _ doesn’t _ like him, not like that, and after last time, she is not sure if she likes him at all. Even being in a room with him is uncomfortable, and his smile puts her on edge.

Not answering at all is definitely the wrong choice, because his face shifts then. “Right, you don’t like me. You already have someone else that you want, right? I just don’t know, Zapp. I mean, what would he think about all of this?”

It is not a direct threat, but she knows what it means. She knows that it is his way of continuing what he started earlier; if she does not do everything that he wants tonight, then he is going to make what they have done known, if not to the general public, than at least to Leon. But with as big of a mouth as Raihan has, and a social media preference like that, it would be easy for him to tell more than just Leon about what they have done, and she dreads that even more.

So she falls into bed with him all over again, continuing into this cycle, that she will become more and more trapped in, the longer she lets this continue.

~X~

It starts out simple, with Raihan inviting her over and the two of them fucking, using vague threats to keep her in line when she starts to express a desire to stop. He has a good grip on her, and he is surprised at how easily it works, surprised that Zapp is that afraid of him exposing her little crush, or the fact that she fooled around with one of her close friends. It’s not like it would ruin her too much; there were rumors about the two of them long before that first night, so is it really that big of a deal?

That being said, if she were to figure that out, then she might not be as easy to keep playing, and he is not sure how long he can keep using her one-sided crush on Leon as leverage. He knows that she is right, when she says that Leon does not notice her, that he has no interest in her. If he told Leon either that Zapp had a thing for him or that he was sleeping with Zapp, he doubts that the champion would have much to say about either of those things. How long will Zapp continue worrying about exposure when neither really serve as proper leverage?

This should be his cue to get out of this, and to stop using her like this. He was never supposed to take things this far, after all, but he sees the way that she looks at him now. She looks at him like she doesn’t know him, like she’s afraid of him, and what he might do next. If he sets her free, then that will be the end of that, and he will lose her completely. By now, he should have lost her for what he’s done- wasn’t that the reason he never meant to take things this far?

But now that he has, this is the only way to keep her. It is hardly a relationship, but it is something, and he has gotten farther with Zapp by manipulating her than he ever did by playing her best friend and never getting up the nerve to try anything with her. It isn’t his fault that she has bad taste and that she fell for the wrong guy, that she pushed him until he  _ had _ to do this, and now he’s here, and he has no choice but to keep it up, to keep her for just a little bit longer, because to lose control is to lose her.

So he needs more leverage. He needs more things that he can use to keep her doing what he wants, to keep her coming back whenever he calls for her.

The first time he takes a picture of her in bed with him, she isn’t paying attention, and doesn’t notice when he does it. Normally, she tries to leave as quickly as she can, but he tries to keep her for longer, for some semblance of normalcy. It makes it easier to pretend, if she isn’t running out the door the second he isn’t inside of her. She is used to him just scrolling through things while she lays on his chest, probably thinking about how she wishes she were anywhere but here- that bitter voice in the back of his mind tells him that she wishes she were with Leon right now.

The point is, she doesn’t notice, not even when he starts working on editing it. She doesn’t notice at all, until he tells her to check her phone. He sent her a link to the post; he can see the dread in her eyes when she recognizes what she is looking at. There is nothing in the picture to indicate that it is her, emojis covering up enough that it is only obvious that he is in bed with  _ someone _ , but she knows, and she knows what this means.

He has the unedited version.

“Rai,” she breathes, “please delete that.”

“The post or the picture?” he asks in a smug tone of voice.

“Both,” she pleads, “the picture, I just…please…”

“What, you don’t want anyone seeing you like this? No one can recognize you in the post, so I’m going to leave that one up,” he says, dismissing that completely. “As for the picture…I don’t know, we both look good in it. It’s a nice candid of you. I might hang onto it for a while.”

She probably knows that nothing she does will get him to delete it, but she still tries things. He even gets a blowjob out of it, without having to ask directly, which he takes as a good sign. Zapp is learning quick, trying to figure out what to do to make him happy, and to  _ keep _ him happy. This picture is already working wonders for him, and he hasn’t even properly used it against her yet.

But in the coming days, it serves as the picture threat. All he has to do is mention it, and she does whatever he wants. She doesn’t want him to post the unedited version, of course, but he switches it up sometimes. He could send it to Nessa or Piers- somehow, she doesn’t seem to realize that either of her friends would think no less of her for it, but would probably be pissed off at Raihan for it. She just doesn’t want them to see it, and sometimes that irritates him, even though that’s the point. If she didn’t care that they saw it, it would take away his power, but why is the idea of being seen with him so awful to her?

Some nagging voice reminds him that if they were  _ really _ together, then this wouldn’t be happening. He silences that voice, and instead reminds himself that she is his whether they are together or not, and that he needs her fear to keep things like this, to keep her at his side. The best is the way she panics when she threatens to send it to Leon; it hardly seems like she thinks about him anymore, but the threats still carry weight, as if he has conditioned her to be afraid of what might happen if Leon were to find out. The two of them have barely even held a full conversation in all the years they’ve known each other, for fuck’s sake!

It is easy enough to get angry at her for these things, and then, he is not nearly as worried about what  _ he _ is doing to her.

~X~

Even hearing Leon’s name makes her sick now. Zapp does not want to see him, does not want to talk to him, does not want to think of him, does not want to love him. It has been growing since that first time, a repulsion for her crush, for the crush that got her into this mess. She would rather forget him entirely, if that would get her out of this, but nothing will. Certainly not herself; she has proven that she is powerless, and what’s worse, she isn’t even sure if she can trust herself anymore.

For instance: why does she come when she fucks Raihan? Why is she able to derive any enjoyment from it? Why does she not feel that same repulsion? She is afraid of him, and she hates this arrangement, but her body tries to disagree with her on that, and that is what makes her think that she can’t trust herself. If even  _ she _ is in on this, then there is no one that she can trust, and nothing else that she can do.

There are more pictures taken along the way, and even videos, and there is nothing she can do to stop him. She is left completely vulnerable for his final attack, for that last nail in the coffin, the one push she needs to fully accept her fate. At this point, she has all but realized it herself; she just needs Raihan to say those words to her, to give her that push.

“Leon wouldn’t even want you if he knew what we were doing,” he says one night, pushing her hands above her head as he pushes his cock inside of her. She does not even wince anymore, used to it, ready for him. “Is that why you want to keep it a secret? Cos you know he wouldn’t want anything to do with you?” She doesn’t reply, only whimpering for him as he starts to get into a rhythm.

Time passes, with Raihan grunting and thrusting on top of her, and she starts to drift away in it, letting herself enjoy the silence, thinking that things aren’t so bad when they’re quiet like this, that she really  _ does _ enjoy fucking him. But then he speaks up again, asking, “Do you even really like him?”

“H-huh?” she gasps out, so distracted that she barely picks up on what he says.

“I asked if you really like him,” he replies, but he gives her such a rough thrust that she is too busy crying out to say anything. “Cos I don’t think you really do, Zapp.” She doesn’t know what he means, but he has her in a position that she can’t actually respond to him, even if she did know what to say. “Look at where we are now.”

As he speaks, he continues fucking her, just barely keeping his voice even as he lays it all out, like something he has rehearsed. Her head is swimming, she’s dazed and confused, but she can understand his words, and she understands what they mean, and what they mean for her. She understands, and this is what she has been close to realizing on her own, while doubting her ability to trust her own body. He gives her the push she needs to understand, and to accept.

“You don’t like him, cos you’re with me. I gave you the choice, and you chose me,” he says, and she thinks he might be smiling, but she can hardly see him anymore, vision blurry with tears that she does not remember shedding. “You could have just let me tell him you liked him; it might have even worked out. You could be in bed with  _ him _ right now, but you’re with me, you’re  _ still _ with me. You thought sleeping with me was better than him finding out you liked him, so do you even like him anymore? Did you  _ ever _ like him?”

That’s all she needs to hear. That’s all she needs to hear to understand it, for everything to click into place for her. Raihan is right; she must have never liked Leon, or else she wouldn’t have cared. It was probably a good idea to let Raihan be an intermediary, since she had such a hard time talking to Leon on her own, and things might have worked. Worst case, nothing would have changed because he already didn’t talk to her, so there was no way he could have avoided her  _ more _ .

But she chose Raihan. Back then, she chose Raihan, despite claiming that she didn’t want to, and she chose him every time since, letting him blackmail her into staying,  _ choosing _ to let him blackmail her into staying. Was it ever really blackmail? Doesn’t she want this? Isn’t this what she chose? She doesn’t like Leon, and she never did, and it’s always been Raihan, because when she had a choice to make, she chose him.

There is some part of her that still thinks this is all wrong, that things there is a lot off about her conclusion, but her head is spinning and her vision is blurry and Raihan keeps repeating himself, becoming less coherent the harder he fucks her, and she decides that he is right, that this is what she wants. That he is the one that she wants, and that she should just stay with him, and continue doing what he wants. They make a good couple. They have always been friends.

Friends don’t hurt each other in the ways she tried to accuse Raihan of hurting her. He’s her friend. She wanted him from the start. He’s her friend, he would never do anything to hurt her. She wanted this, he’s proven it to her. He’s her friend. She’s happy with him.

She loves him, doesn’t she? Hasn’t she always?

~X~

They go to a party together, just as friends. For some reason, he still hasn’t gone public about their relationship, and she hasn’t tried to push the issue. She prefers to fuck instead of talk, finding that easier, so there has been no reason to, and it looks like they are there as friends. But Raihan asks her to come with him, and she follows him, reflexively panicked, waiting for him to show her a picture or bring up someone that she knows, threatening her with exposure if she doesn’t go along, but he doesn’t.

First, she thinks it is because she went along so quickly that he didn’t need to, but then she remembers that she loves him, and that he doesn’t need to use anything to get her to do what he wants. He doesn’t have to do that anymore, or maybe he never did. She loves him.

He brings her to a room where they can be alone, and he doesn’t lock the door, and she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t like to talk when they could be fucking instead. She is riding his lap, facing the door, because he tells her to; she is completely naked and he isn’t, because he wants her out of her clothes for this, and she doesn’t argue, because she doesn’t like to talk and because she loves him.

Zapp barely notices when they are walked in on. The man is quick enough, apologizing and closing the door behind him, and she just wants to get back to fucking, not caring that she is naked, that she is facing the door, that he saw everything. She doesn’t even realize who it was until Raihan laughs and says that she gave Leon a hell of a show, that he’s definitely noticed her  _ now _ .

He says that it’s funny that she doesn’t seem to care about that. He says that means that she really does prefer him, but she already knew that. She already knows that she loves him. Doesn’t she?

~X~

Zapp is nothing like herself anymore, but she’s his now. They’re really together now, no matter what the circumstances may be. He should be happy that he got this far, that she isn’t going to leave him, but he isn’t. Raihan doesn’t know why, but he isn’t happy when he looks her in the eye anymore. Maybe it’s because he never feels like he’s looking  _ her _ in the eye, but he doesn’t know what that means.

This is Zapp, and he’s always wanted her, and now he has her. He should be happy. He should be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in my writing updates, please follow my fanfiction twitter @WattStalf  
> 


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